Heartbreak and Healing
by Sayuri686
Summary: After losing her final chance at love with Nagisa, Tamao falls into despair. Her friendship with Nagisa is threatened by Shizuma's possessive ways. Rokujou is giving her unwelcome advice, and worst of all, they've switched dorms. Some of the character personalities follow the novels more than the anime, but please read and give feedback. : )


Chapter One

Snow fell in fat clumps, twirling lazily down to the bare, cold earth. Beyond the Strawberry dorms, the flakes had stuck and piled high. On the rest of the Astrea Hill pathways, they were no more than a thick soup. My pale blue-white dress dragged through the snow, picking up a thin layer along the hem. My mind was as blank as the landscape around me, shocked into silence by the events of the day. To think that love could end so painfully. To think that such a perfect dream could be whisked away so abruptly. I felt as cold as the frozen crystals that fell so daintily from the placid grey sky. My heart ached and cried out, begging for me to go and berate that girl who'd hurt me so badly. Begging me to go and take back the one I desired from her. She was mine, not hers. I was the one who had remained with her since the day she had arrived. I didn't give up on her, not once. I hadn't abandoned her to another, just to decide that I actually loved her.

My feet carried me to the statue of Mary, where I stood, staring up at the chiseled stone face. A silent moment passed, then I felt a hot tear slide down my cheek. "Nagisa..." My voice was barely above a whisper. More tears followed the first, flowing like water over my cheeks and meeting at my chin, where they fell to the stone floor. Nagisa had been the only person that I had truly fallen for. I had been so close to having her forever. Then Shizuma had burst in, declared her love, and taken her away. "Nagisa!" I began to sob, my shoulders quivering as my hands clutched at my dress. I felt horrible for hating her, but I couldn't help it. Shizuma had stolen Nagisa from me, and for that, I hated her. As I wept for my lost love, I felt myself drowning in a sense of despair. "Nagisa!" I howled, my hands turning to fists. My chest ached. The mental pain had become physical. And it hurt.

The sun was setting and the sky was branded bronze and and orange. My face was still wet and my soul pained. The sun was setting and I hung my head, clinging to my shoulders for warmth. I started to walk, feeling stiff and drained. Even as I walked, I still cried, though I felt empty. My feet felt like lead, my mind dazed as if I'd lost all recollection of my existence. A funny feeling pricked at my stomach. I kept walking, ignoring the strange sensation. A black cloth fell over my vision, the sound of birdsong suddenly muted and far-off. I stood, frozen, panic washing over me before I passed out on the path, sliding out of consciousness into the void of rest.

When I awoke, the sun had risen. Early morning light flooded in through the window by the bed I lay in. I narrowed my eyes, blinking rapidly to focus my still-blurry vision. Turning away from the light, I saw the stern face of Sister Mizue watching me carefully. She sat in a chair beside the infirmary bed, her grey hair pulled into its usual bun. "I heard you would be awakening soon." She said flatly. "Good morning, by the way." My frightened face softened at her greeting. I had half expected to be in trouble, or that she would order me to clean out the dusty old church and bell tower again. She chuckled lightly, as if amused by my reaction. "We found you after you didn't return to the dorms. You're in the infirmary, but what exactly happened to send you here?" Her eyes were searching, but sympathetic also. She wanted to know I was alright, despite all of the trouble I had caused her after Nagisa arrived here, what with all of our midnight tea parties.

"Nagisa..." I murmured, a quiet sigh escaping me. Sister Mizue glanced at me. "Hm? I didn't hear you, sorry." she said apologetically. I caught her eye, my face undoubtedly reflecting exactly how I felt. "Nothing. I felt queasy and passed out before I could get to the dorms. That's all." She studied me carefully. "Alright. Well, if you need to stay here longer, you can. I've excused you from classes today. You can attend if you feel well enough." She stood, brushing the wrinkles from her skirt. "Oh! You've got some visitors also. I'll let them in." I nodded, propping myself up on my elbows and sitting up. My vision rocked for a brief moment, then righted itself as three figures walked in the door. Rokujou waved to me, holding the door as Nagisa followed her inside.

Nagisa rushed over, sitting promptly in the chair and pressing the back of her hand to my head. "Tamao-chan! I'm sorry I just got here now. I only heard about it after the last class I had! You're okay, right?" She said, so quickly that she stumbled over half the words. I smiled and giggled. "Nagisa-chan, you haven't changed at all!" I was about to say more when I noticed Shizuma standing behind Nagisa's chair, watching us carefully. Anger flared inside me. Shizuma was already being too possessive, as with every other girl she had seduced for a night. I looked away, clutching my hand into a fist. I studied the green of Rokujou's necktie, determined to focus elsewhere. I wished with all my being that Nagisa really was just another one of those one-night girls. That way, I could reclaim her tomorrow and forget that she almost wasn't mine. That way, I wouldn't be so alone as I was now.


End file.
